Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel
by MBAV fan66
Summary: Get ready for some rhyming, laughs, and some serious dissing! As the characters of My Babysitter's A Vampire faceoff in some one-on-one rap battling style, epic poet battles of Whitechapel! This is a collab story that me and ThePartTimeWarrior008 are doing together. So, enjoy! :D
1. Battle 1: Stern vs Jesse

**A/N: Hey, there everybody! It's me, MBAV! :D**

**As you guys can all tell, I'm doing another collab story, but this time with somebody else! This time I'm working on one with ThePartTimeWarrior008!**

**It's suppose to be like a rap battle between two characters from My Babysitter's A Vampire. ThePartTimeWarrior008 will be one of them, while I'll be the other. Don't worry, I'll let you know who's doing who in each chapter. ;) For this one, ThePartTimeWarrior008 will be Stern, while I'll be Jesse. :D Except for when they go at it again for a second time, though. Those parts are all ThePartTimeWarrior008. ;)**

**If you guys have any suggestions of who should face off in a battle that you'd like to see, then please feel to let us know in the reviews! :D**

**We both hope that you'll read and enjoy our first collab together. And please, don't forget to review, as well! We'd love to hear your comments! :D As long as they're nice and not mean ones towards us or the story in general. If you want to bad mouth one of the characters in it, then that's ok, then. :)**

**Disclaimer: We do not own My Babysitter's A Vampire or any of it's characters. All that we own is this story idea and the words being spoken by each character in it.**

* * *

_Battle #1: Stern vs. Jesse_

* * *

_Announcer: Alright, folks! My name is Mr. G and I'll be your friendly announcer for these battles. Today, we have two villians facing off against each other. Whitechapel High's very own, Vice Principal Stern. And a former student of Whitechapel High, Jesse Black. Let's have a good clean battle here. Ok? And no fighting! I mean that for the both of you. Ok? Good! Now, let the Epic Poet Battle Of Whitechapel with Stern vs. Jesse, begin!_

* * *

_**Stern**__**:**_

When it comes to being a villain

I am the best of the best there is, the best that lived.

Your just a sad excuse for one, that the author had given

Because when it comes to power I am Goku, and your just Krillin.

Sure you may have speed, but at least I have precision

And let's see what your track record said, oh yeah you were sucked in a box,

By a couple of school children.

...

Take a page from me you are as weak in the mind as anyone could be.

Look at that he is repeating, high school, how many times is it? I think this time makes it 203.

Now when it comes to knowledge and power I think I am pretty alright.

Enough to put you down in a fight.

...

Oh wait! That is right! That already happen! I already did!

Maybe you'd put up a fight if you stop hanging out with a kid.

Just how many years have you already have lived?

...

Now before you beg and plea

For your turn I'll say one thing for sure. I am not afraid of death coming after me

Because once my time is done

I'll say I had a lot of fun.

...

But you're the type of grandpa that dyes his gray hairs.

When no real villain would even care.

...

If you were a real antagonist,

You would stop drinking that you call blood

And own this.

'That yeah I might die one day and that is alright'

But knowing you that isn't something you would think of.

...

I am done!

Your turn son!

Or should I say grandpa instead?

Knowing you, you probably still wet the bed.

* * *

_**Jesse:**_

Ha! The best that lived? Please!

At least I don't need a magic marble to make myself look all mighty and powerful.

I can do that, all on my own. Just watch me.

You know, something Stern? You might want to be careful,

Before that lust for power of yours gets in you into trouble.

Just like it did, to your dearly departed great grandfather.

...

But then again, maybe it's true what they say.

History is always bound to repeat itself, someday.

...

You like to talk about my age and how I hangout with school children.

Well, at least I can get away with it, without being called a pedofile.

Which, by they way, I believe I saw on your police record profile.

This may be my 203rd time repeating high school,

But guess what? At least I'm considered cool, unlike you.

...

I mean, what's with all the strickness?

Is it a sickness?

You act all pompous and mighty when roaming the hallways,

When in truth you're just a crybaby, who always has to have it his way.

That's why all the students run when they see you.

Because they like don't want to be stuck in detention with you and your whininess.

...

Dis me all you want about my true age,

But I must say, I still look rather good for a grandpa. Wouldn't you say?

And it's like they say, 'with age comes wisdom'

Which I have plenty of, by the way.

...

The ladies still love me.

Which is more than I can say about you.

I'm glad to have my immortality and youth,

Because that just means I still perform well, naturally, in the bedroom.

Whereas, you need the help of a special kind of medical aid,

Like Viagra, to still be considered a man in the bedroom.

...

Before I am through with you, you dead beat sorcerer.

I should say this,

Everyone knows that the greatest villians always live forever.

Even if you did manage to take Whitechapel back,

We'll just come right back after you're dead.

So, go ahead and have your fun, now

Cause in the end, we vampires will take it all back.

Just like we did, after I had defeated your great grandfather, but ripping off his head.

* * *

_**Stern:**_

Well, kid you must be really dumb

Because what you read wasn't Stern.

It was Steiner, the only registered pedophile in town.

That everyone knows about and it's a good thing he is in jail.

Unlike the likes of you, who schemes girls with your looks.

...

And I have to say, that is pretty sick in many ways.

And unlike you, I get women. Not girls.

* * *

_**Jesse:**_

Maybe what I read was incorrect

Because let's be honest, you probably never get anyone in bed.

Oh, look at that! You are flushed red!

Guess I am right, your the 40 year old virgin who has never gotten head.

...

And let's be honest, you are a lone wolf son.

Who couldn't lead a team.

Having a friend it is just your fantasy.

...

And with that, I lay you to rest.

* * *

_Mr. G: Ok, folks! That's a rap! That was some...pretty hurtful stuff spoken there, huh? As for our winner, I'll let all you wonderful people out there decide for yourselves!_

_Great battle everybody! Well, that's it for this battle, folks! Stay tuned for our next Epic Poet Battle Of Whitechapel, as two more contestants take the stage to duke it out with words! Until then, I'm Mr. G! Bidding you all a very happy and well blessed day! Thank you all for stopping by!_

* * *

**A/N: So, that's it for the first battle! :D What did you all think? Who would you like to see duke it out next in the next battle, eh? ;D**

**Until next time, I'll be seeing you all around! Byeeee! *giggles* ;P**


	2. Battle 2: Ethan & Jane vs Benny & Evelyn

**A/N: Hey, there everybody! It's me, MBAV fan66! And we're back with another exciting Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel chapter! :D**

**Now, this one is going to have two extra people joining in on the fun, as this one is going to be a team battle. Team Morgan (Ethan and Jane) vs. Team Weir (Benny and Evelyn)! :D Now, Team Morgan will be done by ThePartTimeWarrior008, while Team Weir will be me.**

**A big thank you to Bennyweirlover17 and to TiredOfBeingNice for requesting that the next one be a Ethan vs. Benny battle! :D We hope you'll like it, even though we did add a couple of extra people in it, though. :)**

**And to the rest of you folks out there who's been reading along, feel free to drop a request of who you want to see going toe-to-toe in the next Epic Poet Battle!**

**Now, I think I'll do some shout outs, next!:**

**Chat Noir- Thanks! Yeah, I think my partner, ThePartTimeWarrior008, is A LOT more better at this than I am. Lol! But I'm trying! :D Lol! Hopefully, I'll get better in time. Anyways, thanks for the review and we hope you'll like this one, as well!**

**TiredOfBeingNice- Why, thank you! We're both glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully, this one will get you to laughing, too! Lol! ;P Which, I'm sure it will! ;) Especially, considering some of the stuff that'll be coming out of a certain little nine year old girl's mouth, that is. *giggles* ;P Oh, and by the way, thank you for adding this story to your favorites and following lists, too! We much appreciate it! :D**

**jessgood- Thank you for adding this story to your favorites and following lists! We much appreciate it! :D**

**Disclaimer: We do not own My Babysitter's A Vampire or any of it's characters being used. All we own is this story idea and the words that they say in this here chapter.**

* * *

_Battle #2: Ethan and Jane vs. Benny and Evelyn_

* * *

_Mr. G: Hey, there folks! I am Mr. G, and once again I'll be your Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel announcer! Tonight, we have a special treat for you all! For today's battle we'll be having a two-on-two battle, tonight! That's right, folks! A duet battle! And who, you may ask, is competing in this so called "duet battle," you ask? Well, none other than Ethan and Jane Morgan! Versus Benny and his grandma, Evelyn Weir! Oh, yeah! That's right! It's gonna be Morgans vs. Weirs, on this one, people! So, who's ready?!_

_Alright! This is how it'll go. First off will be Ethan. Then it'll be Benny's turn and then Jane's and finally it'll be Evelyn's turn. Ok? Good! Now, let's get this battle started! Ethan! You're up!_

* * *

_**Ethan:**_

Hey, there!

Name is, E!

And by the end of this

You'll be at your knees,

And taste defeat

When I drop a beat.

Because unlike you, the person I like loves me.

...

The roast hasn't even begun to begin,

And you know I am in it to win it.

So, let's go, shall we?

...

Now, you pine over Erica

But you haven't made a move.

Not even at the end of season 2,

And said, "I like you"

To her and that is okay.

I am rooting for you,

But it looks like Rory will be the one to get the date.

While you sit at home and masturbate,

Since he made the first move.

...

Now I don't like tearing up old wounds,

But I have to pay my respects to where they're due.

Because Rory got Erica to kiss him without a love potion, unlike you.

But buddy you are going to miss your deadline.

...

Now I am a seer, so you already know, I am in your mind.

I can see the future and in time this rap battle will be mine.

But it is time, to take the gloves off.

Jane, now it is your time.

* * *

_**Benny:**_

Whoa, bro!

Now, slow your roll!

There's no need to be so conceited.

Especially, since you'll be the one down on their knees, feeling so defeated.

...

Now, you're quick to talk about me and Erica,

But how long did it take yah, to get up the courage and ask out Sarah?

Oh, yeah! Like, almost an entire year!

I'm just glad that you finally got over that little fear.

...

If Rory wants Erica, then he can have her,

Cause I really don't want to be her dinner.

Ever since becoming a total hot vampire babe in the movie,

She's been nothing, but stuck up and a bit of a bully.

...

As I still see it, there's still plenty of fish left in the sea.

At least, I'm not afraid around them to be me.

You know? For a seer, you sure are blind.

But buddy, that's alright. I don't mind.

We all can't be as cool and suave, like Benny Weir can.

Because, in this here town, I'm the only magic man.

...

Speaking of your little sister, Jane. I wonder how much it cost you this time?

It's pretty sad, for a fifteen year old to keep getting blackmailed by someone who's only nine.

It makes me kind a glad that I'm an only child.

I guess, life between you two is never really mild.

...

But enough about that, as my mental torture of you is now officially through.

Because I think I just shattered your fragile little psyche. Let's just hope they have some glue.

You're my best friend, so I hope there's no hard feelings between us, I hope?

For when Team Weir wins this thing, with our sick rhymes that are so totally dope!

...

Alright, Grandma! I'm handing it over to you!

So, show these fools what old school can do!

* * *

_**Jane:**_

Wow, bro! I thought we establish

If you don't pay me cash,

Then that is it.

...

So, I am going to dis all of y'all!

Due to my irateness,

Not even Stern or Benny can fake this.

...

Now, I will start by dissing Benny,

Because you know with this IQ,

He will be working at Wendy's.

...

Now, B

The reason you don't get any

Is because you don't verbalize.

And oh, you will be telling E lies,

Because unlike Ethan, who is suffering from 'Main Character Syndrome'

We all know that bro is the apple of your eye.

...

And surprise!

Ethan secretly likes you super bad.

He only dates Sarah,

To make you jealous.

And that's a fact.

...

Now, I don't mean to be crass,

But when it comes to personality, Sarah has one of a jackass.

And that is why out of all of Ethan's suitors, you out class

All of them.

...

Now, throwing you all down is my mission.

I will surprise you faster than any Spanish Inquisition.

Like a nuclear fission,

I will tear you all apart.

...

Now, B, you just gotta work on your style,

Because striped shirts have been out for awhile.

...

Now, I am nowhere near done.

You and Ethan,

Do the Naruto run.

Saying, "Rasengan!"

...

Now, that is really cringey.

And I am sorry, that I have been very snitch-y,

But when you were twelve, you both said the word, "peepee."

...

Now, Grandma when it comes to being deceptive and a villain,

You have Jesse and Stern outclassed.

Because letting some kids save the world,

Instead of saving it yourself, is just being an ass.

...

Because letting children do your bidding is really bad.

Now, before we get to anything, that is really sad.

...

Sixty years of working and getting better,

You got out done by a letter.

...

Now, that is tragic!

Because you've been using magic,

Since the sixties!

...

And with that done,

I'm going to have some real fun.

* * *

_**Evelyn:**_

Listen here, little missy.

Don't get yourself in a tizzy.

My grandson may not be the brightest in some ways,

But at least he can say that he's saved the day.

Which is more than I can say for you.

...

You can't fight evil if it's past your bedtime.

So, sorry dear. Better luck next time.

...

Benny's not the only one who's made mistakes with magic.

If I remember correctly, there was one time were you weren't using logic,

And brought to life your Debbie Dazzle doll.

Who then went around turning people into dolls.

...

I don't know how you expect an old lady like me,

To be fighting the forces of evil, when I'm only seventy-three.

I'm not as young as I used to be, you know.

And besides, letting them do it is a good way to let their powers mature and grow.

...

So, don't be jealous because they're always the heroes,

While you just sit at home and mope, feeling like a zero.

...

Oh! And by the way sweetie!

I know you have a big crush on Benny.

So, there's no reason to deflect it onto your brother,

When we both know you're the one secretly wishing to be his lover.

Who knew that Jane Morgan was into older guys?!

I guess, gold diggers must start off young.

...

Perhaps, I should start drawing up a prenup

Before the big question to get married pops up?

Because I'll be damn, if my grandson gets scammed out of his money.

By a no good, scheming little hussy!

...

Sorry, dear. I didn't mean to call you a hussy.

It's just that when it comes to my grandson's heart, I can be a bit fussy.

But seriously, Jane, you should really stop blackmailing your brother,

Because no guy in this world wants to marry a hustler.

...

And what's with the language, young lady?

Perhaps, I should have a nice little talk with your parents, maybe?

Do they even know that their daughter has such a potty mouth?

It makes me a little worried for today's youth.

...

I know it's really frustrating when you're just a youngster,

Who only wants to help the big kids, fight a monster.

Only to be left behind, instead

So, she doesn't wind up getting in their way and winding up dead.

Now, I get that all that fury you have needs to unload,

But remember, I can still turn you into a toad.

...

Unless, you want me to spank you with lightning, that is?

Which I can also do, too. So, you better watch it, little miss!

...

Now, it's time for this old woman to call it quits

I'm sure you all have had enough of me showing off my wits.

Besides, I believe it's time for this old gal to finally lay this battle to rest.

Because when it comes to winning, Team Weir will put you to the test!

* * *

_Mr G: Aaaand, that's time folks!_

_Wow! I'm not even sure what to say about that. Is it even ok for a nine year old to even say such stuff like that? Perphaps, maybe somebody should speak to her parents about her use of bad words?_

_Anyways, what did you all think of that, huh?! Our first team battle! Who do you think won? Team Morgan? Or Team Weir?_

_Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks! So, stay tuned for our next Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel to see who dukes it out, next! Until then, this is Mr. G, your friendly announcer guy for this evening, signing off! May you all have a wonderful day! And thanks for stopping by! Bye!_

* * *

**A/N: And that's that for this amazing battle! :D**

**Like, Mr. G said. Which team do you think won? And like what he didn't say. Who was your number one favorite out of the four of them, eh?! :D**

**And please, send us a request on who you like to see in the next battle! So, please! Drop us a review and let us know your thoughts on the latest Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel! We'd love to hear from yah! :D**

**Until next time, I'll be seeing you all around! Bye! ;D**


	3. Battle 3: Sarah vs Erica & Rory

**A/N: Hey, there everybody! It's me, MBAV fan66! And it's time for our next Epic Poet Battle Of Whitechapel! :D**

**In this one we will see Sarah go up against Erica and Rory. So, in other words, a one-on-two battle! Though...granted, Rory is more an ****assist ****to Erica than anything, really. *giggle* ;P He doesn't get all down and dirty like the girls do, in ****theirs****. Lol!**

**ThePartTimeWarrior008 will be doing Sarah's, while I'll be doing Erica's and Rory's.**

**We hope you all will like it! :) And don't forget to leave a review when you're done! :D**

**Shout outs to:**

**TiredOfBeingNice- Thanks! Glad you loved it so much! :D That one was quite the ****throwdown****, huh? Lol! Probably, my favorite one, so far. ;) Though, there's only two (now, three), so far, that is. ;P**

**justwritting1moretime- Thanks! We're glad you liked it so much! :D Yeah, I worked really hard on Grandma's, in that last chapter. Glad it paid off! :) This ****rhyming ****stuff isn't easy, yah know. *giggles* ;P**

**Acornriot- Thank you for adding this story to your favorites and to your follow list! And also, thank you for adding my other stories ("MBAV One-Shots Radio" and "A Fairytale Kind Of Love II: The Story Continues") to your favorite and follow lists, as well! I much appreciate it! :D**

**Stretch Snodgrass- Thanks! :D Glad you liked it! :) Yeah, it was no-holds-barred in that one, huh?! Lol! And you're right! Jane was playing both sides, huh?! Lol! More so her own, though. ;) I guess, Ethan didn't want to hit too far below the belt with Benny and risk ****ruining ****their years of friendship with each other. So, he ****held back ****a bit, out of ****courtesy ****to his best friend. :) Benny, on the other hand, didn't have much ****sympathy ****for his best friend in the dating department, though! Huh?! Lol! Maybe it was just him giving Ethan some tough love, so that maybe he actually will ask Sarah out?! Lol! And you don't mess with Evelyn! She's one firecracker of a grandma, who takes no smack from anyone! Lol! Including, 9 year old little girls! Lol! And thanks for adding this story to your follow list, too! I (and my partner in this, ThePartTimeWarrior008) much appreciate it! :D**

**Bennyweirlover17- I can't remember if you said anything to me about the last chapter or not, in a PM? But just in case you did, I want to give you a shout out, too! *giggles* ;D**

**Disclaimer: We do not own My Babysitter's A Vampire or any of it's characters. Those rights belong to it's original creators. All we own is this story idea and the words being spoken by each character in it.**

* * *

_Battle 3: Sarah vs. Erica and Rory_

* * *

_Mr. G: Howdy, folks! I'm Mr. G, the announcer and mediator for Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel! Tonight our performers up on stage battling it out shall be Sarah Fox versus the pair Erica Jones and Rory Keaner! So, a bit of a two-on-one battle!_

_Now, ladies. Let's not let what will be said here tonight effect the wonderful friendship you two have with each other, here tonight. Ok? This is all just a friendly little competition we're having just for fun. But if any problems do happen to arise between you two after this, then just know that my door is always open at school for a bit of friendship counseling, should you need to talk things out a bit. Civilly of course._

_Anyway, back to the audience, now!_

_The order of who's going when is as follows! First, will be Sarah. And then, Erica's turn. And finally, we'll have Rory up next. Is that good with you three?_

_Good! Then let's get this battle started!_

* * *

_**Sarah:**_

Here is the report.

Erica, the girl that everyone in school used to ignore

Just became this town's new whore,

Because she keeps asking for more.

Why? Because her thoughts are dirtier than a filthy boar.

...

What happened to the Erica

That neighbors like?

That taught the neighbors' kid how to ride a bike?

...

Now you're the girl who is missing curfew

And puts on too much perfume.

Why? Because you are too busy trying to get someone in bed

And make them forget that you wreak of the undead.

...

Now I know you act all high and mighty,

But no one can take you seriously when you keep Rory around.

Since he's super obsessed with a hero who wears underwear over his clothes, tightly.

...

And that is not all!

He tried to act like a shinobi.

Pretending that he has Rinnegan,

As if he was Tobi.

But if it wasn't for his vampire powers,

He'd be dead like Obi-Wan Kenobi!

* * *

_**Erica:**_

Gee, Sarah!

I thought you were my best friend?!

Oh, I get it, now! Girl, there's no need to pretend.

You're just jealous because I attract all the men.

Whereas, you only seem to attraction the attention of little boys.

...

I think it's time that you stop hanging around the dorks so much.

Because you're starting to sound just like them and such.

...

Rory's not the only one who's obsessed with a superhero.

What about your nerd, Ethan and his friend Benny?

They're always getting into it with vampire dork, over who's the best hero.

Pish, like I give a pretty penny.

...

At least, with Rory I'm not falling for the geek, like you are with Ethan.

I mean, you even went on a date with him, even!

I'm pretty sure there's rules against dating your client's kids!

You're suppose to be _babysitting _him, not locking lips!

Let's just hope that I don't "accidentally" let it slip.

...

Gosh, Sarah! You're always blowing things way out of text.

I don't date these cute guys just for the sex.

All I want is just their yummy blood.

_Duh_!

...

Unlike you, I'm proud to be a vampire.

In fact, being one used to be our greatest desire.

So, you should embrace it

And not loath it.

There's no greater joy than being a bloodsucker!

Unless, that is...you actually enjoy being a human wannabe fucker!

...

Let's face it, Sarah.

You ain't no Mother Teresa.

In no way logical will a vampire ever be considered a saint.

...

Once you're a vampire, it's like what they say about being black.

That there's no going back!

So, you might as well stop searching for a cure.

Besides, we both know exactly, that your heart's not pure.

Cause Jesse wasn't just only your first kiss.

He was also who you had lost your v-card to, as you probably sighed out his name in pure bliss.

...

Whoops! Did I just say too much?

I think I'll just end it there for now.

We wouldn't want you to have a cow.

Or in your case...have it for lunch.

* * *

_**Rory:**_

Yo! Yo! Yo!

It's time to listen up!

Cause MC Monsta Bat is here to turn it up!

With my sick ass rhymes and my totally dope beats, it'll just make you wanna blow!

...

Ah, Erica! My lovely little sweet!

Seeing your beauty each and every day is always such a lovely treat.

Just thinking about you, just makes it hard for me to stay on my feet.

I would do anything for you, if it means someday again our lips will meet.

Just like they did when we were both locked inside that blood truck, my sweet.

...

And Sarah? Ouch!

There's no need to be such a grouch.

Frankly, I think you're just jealous of the bond that me and her share.

Something you wish you had with my bud Ethan, if you two were ever a pair.

...

Now, I may like to pretend to be a superhero.

But I'm just trying to make the most of being a vampire, yah know?

Instead, of letting it get me down all the time, like you do.

Even Erica is making the most of her vampirism by thinking it's a dream come true!

...

So, don't be lame.

Yeah, I know Jesse's to blame.

But if it wasn't for him, then you would have never of met us!

Then he would've won and his plan wouldn't of been a bust.

And no telling what would've happened to the town, then?!

So, you see? You becoming a vampire was a blessing and what led to our win!

...

Oh, yeah! A quick shout out to my bro, Benny!

Stay away from my girl, Erica, you warp nine ninny!

Cause me and her were meant to be.

Ever since the day she turned me.

It was destiny!

...

I've said all that needed to be said here.

So, I think I'll go grab a tasty snack, like maybe a deer.

This is MC Monsta Bat, signing out.

But before I go, there's just one little thing you all need to know about.

If you're looking for some live musical entertainment, that's mighty fine.

Then I'm your guy, as I work weekends and weekdays from five to nine.

And that ain't no lie!

As it's now time for me to say good-bye!

...

Deuces!

* * *

_Mr G: Please, Rory. Let's try and not drop the mic next time when you're done performing and exiting the stage. It might break._

_Now, then! That concludes this battle of Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel, folks!_

_Tonight's competitors sure had some...interesting things to say about each other, huh?! I just hope it didn't bruise any egos or ruin any friendships in the process. Now, that I think about it...why are we having such a hurtful and mean competition, anyway? And how did I become it's announcer, in the first place?! Hmm...?_

_Well, I suppose that wraps it up for this battle! Come back again next time, as we place two or more combatants from our fair town against one another in some more Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel!_

_Until then, this has been your friendly announcer, Mr. G., saying adios to all you fans out there and thank you for stopping by! I'll see you next time on, Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel! Bye!_

* * *

**A/N: So, that's another battle done-and-done! :D**

**What'd you all think? Who won in your eyes, this time around? Sarah or the combo team of Erica and Rory? Or perhaps, you only liked either Erica's or Rory's by themselves, instead?! ;D Either way, please do tell! :D**

**Anyway, that's it for now. Stay tuned for when we have our next Epic Poet Battle of Whitechapel, again! :D Until then, I'll be seeing you all around! Bye! :D**


	4. Battle 4: Ethan vs Hottie Ho-Tep

**A/N: Hey, there everybody! It's me, MBAV fan66! And it's time for the next Epic Poet Battle Of Whitechapel! :D**

**Now, this one shall be a simple one-on-one battle between (you guessed it) Ethan and Hottie Ho-tep! So, in a way, it's like past versus present! :D I'm sure this battle between the two is a long time coming, considering the two didn't quite get along very well in the show. Do to...let's just say, matters of the heart. Shall we? Lol! :P**

**Ok, so here's doing who. I'm doing Ethan, while ThePartTimeWarrior008 will be doing Hottie Ho-tep.**

**I hope you all enjoy the battle! And please, don't forget to leave a review! :D**

**Shout outs to:**

**TiredOfBeingNice- Awe, thank you so much, fanfic buddy! I'm glad you really enjoyed it! :D Who the girls could be so nasty and hurtful to each other, huh? Lol! Anyway, I hope you'll love this one, too!**

**Stretch Snodgrass- Lol! Yup! That he is! Which makes him perfect for the job! Lol! That she does! Lol! At least, Sarah put it in a...more gentler way that he's pretty much useless when it comes to fighting, though. I suppose? Lol! But hey! Rory's got his own strengths in other areas, though! Like, being a really caring guy to others! ;) Yeah, I went all out with Erica's. I tried to stick true to form with hers. Lol! But I'm sure right after the battle was over with, the two girls quickly met up with each other to apologize and be besties, again. Lol! But remember, Rory said that his rhymes are meant to make people feel good about themselves, in "Siren Song". Which is exactly what he did here! Lol! :P Plus, he probably knows that if given the chance, that Sarah could totally whoop his butt in a fight. Lol! But I'm glad you liked it! And I agree! I think Erica was the winner of that battle! Lol! Anyway, I hope you'll like this one, too! Enjoy! ;D**

**Disclaimer: We do not own My Babysitter's A Vampire or any of it's characters. Those rights belong to it's original creators. All we own is this story idea and the words being spoken by each character in it.**

* * *

_Battle #4: Ethan vs. Hottie Ho-tep_

* * *

_Mr. G: Hello! Hello! My good fellow spectators! It's I, your friendly neighborhood announcer, Mr. G! And I'm back to host, yet another, Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel for you all! This time around it'll be distant past versus the present! As our contestants for tonight shall be local the high school student of the present, Ethan Morgan! Taking on the Egyptian prince from the past himself, Hottie Ho-tep!_

_This one is gonna be a battle for the ages! Am I right, folks?!_

_Now, that, that's all said and done with! Let's unwrap this battle with excitement and cheers, as Ethan takes his turn up on stage first!_

* * *

_**Ethan:**_

Now, here's a guy who is as old as the sands of time.

Who speaks to cats in his downtime.

He might have been a prince back in his time,

but now he's a fugitive on the run for his love crime.

...

And what kind of name is Hottie Ho-tep, anyway?

I get that it's Egyptian, but it sounds really gay.

All you really are is just some cheap knock-off version of a young King Tut.

Now, he was famous! Whereas, you were only kinda famous, somewhat.

...

How about turning down all that phony romantic garbage that you give.

When all you wanna do is force some pretty girl into the Underworld, where you live.

All because you refused to marry a pharaoh's daughter for not being in love with her.

And now you claim that you're in love with Sarah and want to be with her forever?

Only to leave out the part about where you plan to drag her into the Underworld with you.

A girl who you barely even knew!

...

Thankfully, we were able to stop you in time.

Before you committed your heinous crime.

Don't you know that love is a two-way street?

Where the middle is where the two hearts meet?

...

All those cheesy pickup lines that you spew just make me wanna gag.

You probably couldn't even sweet-talk yourself out of a wet paper bag!

...

And what kind of guy wears women's eyeliner?

What do think, that it'll make you look all much finer?

Also, who in their right mind wears that much gold?

Muggers and thieves hiding out in dark alleyways are probably thinking, "Is he that stupid or just bold?"

...

Ew! What's that awful smell?!

The stench is so strong, I almost fell!

Oh, wait! It's your musky old ass!

Is that mold, I see? And...Oh god! Pee-yew! Your mummy breath smells like someone with really bad gas!

...

I hate to say this, but you're probably one of the lamest monsters we ever faced.

Actually, I didn't hate sayin' it because it's true! I _loved _putting you in your place!

...

So, why don't you gather up all your dirty old rags, you big dummy,

And go on back home, crying to your _mummy_.

Back to the land of sand or should I say, the Sphynx's litter box?!

Where you were found under nothing but a pile of rocks!

* * *

_**Hottie Ho-Tep:**_

Don't make me laugh!

I can turn you into a snake with my staff!

...

Now here is my rap!

...

Now while you are playing your videogames and watching your animations,

I was leading a nation.

Trying to make sure that all people can have an education

And making sure they weren't getting abrasions.

...

Tell me, Ethan, what country are you raisin'?

...

By the time I was your age I was Pharoah

And fought with a bow and arrow.

Fighting the mightiest, like Alexander.

And I was mighty philander,

That at will could turn into a panther.

...

And what are you, an emotional teen

Who is deflective?

When it is really _you _who plays for the other team.

...

I see how you look at the other guy.

He makes you go, "Oh my!"

* * *

_Mr. G: Alright, folks! And that marks the end of this battle!_

_What did you all think about this battle between the ages, hmm?_

_A lot of great ancient Eygptian history to be learned here, eh, folks? Perhaps, I should have Mr. Ho-Tep in my next class as a guest speaker? So, that he can explain all the wonders of what ancient Eygpt was like, back then. What do you say, Mr. Ho-Tep?_

_Actually, just hold off on that answer for now. As the producers are telling me that now is not the time to discuss what my next lesson in class, shall be. Sorry, about that._

_Anyway, who all do you think won this epic poet battle between Ethan Morgan and Hottie Ho-Tep?!_

_Well, that is it for this Epic Battle Of Whitechapel! I'm your announcer, Mr. G signing off for the night! Until then, have a good night, everybody! Bye!_

* * *

**A/N: And that's it for chapter 4 of Epic Poet Battles Of Whitechapel! So, who's the winner in this one in your eyes, my lovely readers?! Ethan or Hottie?! :D**

**And please, if you guys would like to see certain characters duke it out in an epic poet battle, then don't be shy! Tell us! We'd love to know! :D It can be between ANY character from the show. Well...except for maybe Mr. G, that is. Since he is our announcer and all. But any other characters are totally up for grabs, though! Lol!**

**I might already have an idea for who the next battle shall be between. But I'm not gonna spill it to you guys, though! I want it to be a secret. ;) But first, I'll have to run it by my collab partner. To see if they're alright with it, though.**

**Well, until next time, I guess I'll be seeing you all around! Bye! ;D**


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